


Broken memories

by JesusChristsuzIe



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), POV Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24606700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesusChristsuzIe/pseuds/JesusChristsuzIe
Summary: The Gaang learn how Zuko got his scar, but this time they're there to watch it happen
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), Roku & Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 24
Kudos: 1473





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another hurt/comfort with Zuko and Suki can you tell they're my favourites, hope you like it

Zuko was jerked unwillingly out of his fitful sleep. Aang sat in front of him, shaking his shoulders, until he pushed his hands off him. 

"What do you want Aang?"

"Just, come with me," he looked up at Zuko, with large, earnest eyes, "please."

Zuko stood up and gestured for Aang to lead the way, following him over to the campfire, where the rest of the group sat, even Hakoda, sat between his two children, chatting happily with Sokka. The sight made Zuko feel unreasonably sick, as he looked at the interest Hakoda showed in his son, he remembered the disgust his father's own face had held whenever he looked at him. Zuko dropped down next to Suki, smiling back at her when she turned to look at him. 

"Aang can you finally tell us why we're here, in the middle of the night?"

"I ... don't actually know," he said, resigned as he sat between Katara and Toph. "Avatar Roku told me to gather you here, he said it was important."

Aang linked hands with Katara and Toph, motioning for the rest of them to do the same. Zuko noted, with some surprise, that Toph's hand were incredibly soft. The moment they all linked hands, the fire in the between them grew, shooting up into the sky, illuminating the night, painting patterns between the stars. Zuko felt himself being sucked into it, as if by an external force. His skin felt as if it were being pulled from his skull ad he was dragged into the flames. 

He opened his eyes and he was in his parents' chambers, staring as his mother rocked his sister gently to sleep. Zuko couldn't see the rest of the group and he could only assume they were witnessing similar memories of their own. Zuko watched as his father walked slowly into the room, menacing even now. He stared down at his new born daughter, smiling with something that resembled love.

_"She's a miracle. The sages say she was blessed by Agni, born in the height of summer."_

His mother looked up at him as he continued

_"We're lucky to have her."_

She nodded silently. They looked happy, content, like a family. Zuko's absence from the happy scene weighed on him heavily as he looked at the kind of family he always wished he could have had, the kind of love he had never received. 

Suddenly he was transported again, to a training battleground this time. He saw himself and Azula front and centre of the class, as well as the a few children of other noble families. They were running through the basic poses to summon easy fire, Zuko's flames much weaker compared to everyone else's, especially Azula's. Her flames reaching higher into the sky than anyone else's, her flames hotter than anyone else's and burning brighter than anyone else's. She looked at her brother's weedy flame, the strongest he could manage, and laughed smugly, running through a chain of complex battle stances quickly and almost perfectly, her skill level way above her age level. She watched arrogantly as Zuko struggled to transition smoothly from one pose to another whilst maintaining his weak flame. Azula came closer, placing a hot hand on his shoulder, _"Oh it's ok Zuzu, I'm sure one day you'll learn not to be such a disappointment."_

Zuko felt tears well in his eyes and clenched his fist, feeling the heat of flames travel through to his fingertips as they glowed red, threatening to burn through, to prove his strength. 

Once again he was dragged into another memory. His sister was knelt in front of their father, smiling sadistically at Zuko from the corner of her eye. Her father was speaking to a room of master benders and sages, praising his daughter's skill and progress, before turning sharply towards his young son. He bent down close to Zuko, grabbing his arm and heating his hand just enough to burn without scarring. 

_"Zuko, however, has made almost no progress, bestowing shame and disappointment upon his family and scarring his already questionable honour."_

Zuko could see smoke rising from his arm and remembered the smell of his own burning skin, a smell he knew all too well. His father bent down even closer and spoke quietly, so no one but Zuko could hear.

_"Azula was blessed by Agni, she was born lucky. You were lucky to be born. You will do well to remember that the next time you decide to disappoint me."_

He watched his father walk away as his younger self crumpled, falling to his knees and cradling his arm close to his body. He saw the master benders and the sages turn away, choosing instead to look at the gloating form of Azula, congratulating her on her talents and achievements. 

Zuko was sucked into a new memory. 

He was in his mother's garden. He sat with her in front of the pond, trying to bribe the baby turtleducks into swimming over with stale bread. His mother laughed lovingly at his desperate attempts to call the birds over.

 _"Young Zuko,"_ she spoke in her soft, sing-song voice that he remembered and loved so well, _"you must let the animals come to you. You cannot force trust, you must open your arms and wait for them to return your embrace. Patience is key."_

She tore a small piece of bread from the loaf they had brought down with them and held it lightly over the water, waiting patiently. Before too long, a young baby had swum over, nibbling cautiously at the piece of bread held out for it. Zuko watched as she transferred the bread carefully into his young, coarse hands. He held it out as cautiously as he could manage, marvelling at the young bird eating from his hand. He felt hot tears rolling down his face. His mother had been so kind, so warm, so loving and patient. He longed to hear her voice just once more, to feel her embrace and sit with her in her quiet haven. He longed to know where she was. 

Once again he was transported to the furthest reaches of his memories. 

He was running from Lu Ten, laughing loudly and tripping over his own, clumsy feet, eventually slowing enough for Lu Ten to enclose him in his big arms. He watched as his cousin lifted him easily into the air, smiling when he squealed in delight. His smile, however, was strained and he soon set Zuko down, looking him directly in the eye. Zuko realised, with surprise, he had no recollection of this happening, of course he remembered playing with Lu Ten, but he never remembered a moment as heavy as this one between his cousin and himself.

 _"Zuko, I have to go away for a while," he put a hand up to silence Zuko's disappointed protests, "I'm going to miss you dearly, but I must to go. Will you protect the Fire Nation while I'm away? I can't trust anybody else with this task."_ He smiled lovingly at Zuko as he shouted that he could do it, that he wouldn't let Lu Ten down.

_"I promise I'll be back as soon as I can, to help you protect the Nation. I know you'll beup to the task while I'm away, little soldier."_

He laughed and ruffled Zuko's hair, bringing him in for a tight hug, but suddenly he wasn't there anymore and Zuko was sat in front of Iroh, staring up into his tired eyes that were red and puffy with grief. He reached forward and took hold of Zuko's hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hands. 

_"I'm sorry to tell you, young Zuko, but your cousin will not be returning. I know how close the two of you were, this must be hard to understand, but he fell in battle, defending our nation. He died a warrior's death."_

But his uncle didn't look convinced. He pulled Zuko into a hug and they wept together, crying over a life that would never be lived. Zuko sank to his knees, his arms wrapped around himself and he cried uncontrollably, remembering the grief that had washed over him at the knowledge of his cousin's death and let it envelop him now. But his mourning was short lived as he was once again sucked into a new memory.

A memory he knew all too well.

The memory that haunted his every dream.

The memory that played behind his eyes every time he dared to sleep.

He was thirteen. He stood in the hallway, waiting eagerly outside the Fire Lord's war room as he watched generals pour into the room. He grabbed his uncle's arm just as he was about to enter the room.

_"Zuko? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be training?"_

Zuko shook his head, smiling excitedly up at his uncle, asking to sit in with them, begging to be more exact.

His uncle looked reluctant, but eventually agreed, _"Do not say a word."_

Zuko shook his head again, miming locking up his mouth and throwing away the key. His uncle chuckled quietly at his nephew, before hurrying him into the room and situating comfortably in the shadows, taking his own seat. He watched the meeting with interest. Listening in eagerly. Especially when a general (was Kaizo his name?) stood up, speaking of sending in new, untrained troops to the frontline, to their deaths. Zuko bristled as a ripple of laughter swept through the room. He couldn't help himself, ignoring his uncle's words he stood up, yelling at the general, speaking of betrayal and mistreatment. 

Zuko couldn't help but wonder if the unjust death of his cousin had a role to play in the fury he had felt in the moment.

He watched as the Fire Lord shouted down at him, telling Zuko that by speaking out against his general, he was speaking out against the Nation. Zuko must duel with him in an Agni Kai. Zuko eyed the old war general, deciding he could over power him pretty easily and turned to accept, not wishing to disrespect the Fire Lord any further. 

Zuko could barely watch as he saw himself walk out into the Agni Kai, his bare face glistening in the light of the flames. He turned, his battle stance faltering as he came face to face with his father. Zuko remembered the crippling fear he had felt upon turning around, looking into the fierce unyielding face of his father getting ready to battle his own son. He did the unthinkable. He buckled under the pressure. He surrendered. 

Zuko dropped down to his knees, tears welling in his eyes, hands clasped in front of his chest, begging, pleading with his father. Zuko looked up into his father's face, now standing directly in front of him. Ozai held out his hand, cupping the side of his son's face. 

_"You will learn respect. And suffering will be your teacher."_

He moved his hand to cover his son's eye, smoke billowing out from under his fingertips.

Zuko screamed.

He was back in the campsite, hunched over on his knees in front of the fire, still screaming. His hands covering his scar. He could feel it. The burning, the pain, the suffering, the fear. His face felt alive with the fire, his father's hand pressing into his skin. He had stopped screaming at this point, whimpering quietly, rocking back forth, the pain in his face excruciating.

He finally looked up to see the rest of the group, staring at him, concern etched deeply into all of their faces. He felt ashamed and guilty. He must have terrified them. They hadn't seen, they didn't know. They probably had just watched memories of their loved ones, their friends and their families, playing and laughing and singing together. To come back from that to see Zuko writhing on the ground, hands over his scar, alive with pain, must have been horrific. Before he could say anything, Suki wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug, her face pressed into his shoulder. She pulled back, looking into his face and he could see the tears in her eyes. 

She pressed a gentle hand to his scar, "I'm so sorry Zuko. I'm so so sorry. No child deserves that."

She wrapped him up in a big hug again and, slowly, one by one, the rest of the group piled on, trying desperately to hug Zuko's past away. Even Toph pressed herself into the group, holding Zuko close. They pulled away eventually and Zuko looked into each of their faces, in pure confusion.

"Did you- did you guys see that? You were there? You didn't see your own lives?"

They all looked just as confused as he felt. Suki spoke first, "No... could you not see us Zuko? We were right there with you." 

Zuko shook his head , feeling even more ashamed then he already was, "You saw me though?" They had watched him relive his worst memories, watched him at his most vulnerable. He had never felt weaker in his entire life, never felt more exposed.

Suki gave him an apologetic smile, "Yes we could, I'm sorry Zuko, we did try to comfort you, but you didn't respond." Tears were gathering in her eyes again, she looked tired, emotionally wrung out and she gathered him up into her embrace again. There was something familiar about the way she held him, something ... motherly. He couldn't help but lean in, wrapping her up in his own arms, remembering countless afternoons spent in the garden, feeding the turtleducks, making flower crowns or simply sitting together in the shade of the old, knotted tree. She pulled away once more, but she let her hand linger on his shoulder, a small sign of solidarity and comfort. 

So far, Suki had been the only one to speak and Zuko looked around into the faces of the rest of the group. They all looked sick, disgusted at what they had been shown, but forced smiles onto their faces when they felt Zuko's gaze on them. Sokka tried a joke, "Now we know why you were so obsessed with your honour." He forced a small laugh and looked away, guilty. 

Zuko looked over at Hakoda, who's face was a picture of pure anger. Zuko couldn't help but flinch at the sight of the older man's anger, a learned response to just assume it was directed at him. Hakoda caught this and it only seemed to anger him more, he stood up and walked over to Zuko, who couldn't help but shrink away slightly. He held out his hand. But not in the aggressive way his father had done, but almost lovingly. Zuko took the man's hand tentatively, moving slowly out of Suki's grip. The man pulled him roughly up to his chest, hugging him in a way Zuko had seen him hug his own children. He hugged Zuko like he would his own son. Like he loved him. Like Zuko wished his father would. 

Zuko felt tears falling from his face and was surprised to see the old man crying too. Hakoda looked at Zuko, gripping his shoulders tightly. He nodded slightly and pulled Zuko in again, before moving away wordlessly and sitting back across the fire.

"I'm sorry Zuko," Zuko turned towards Aang in surprise, "I had no idea, I always assumed it was an accident. I- I didn't know." Aang broke down, tears falling down his cheeks, he looked up at Zuko, almost in desperation, shouting now, "I didn't know! I'm so sorry Zuko! I'm so sorry!"

Zuko leaned over and hugged Aang's small frame to his own, nodding, "It's ok Aang, it's ok."

"But it's not! He was your father Zuko! Your father! I'm so sorry, if I had known I- I-"

"Aang, what's done is done. My experience in the Agni Kai shaped me into who I am today, I wouldn't be here if it didn't happen. It was ... horrifying, yeah, and it hurt. A lot. But, this way, I was able to learn the problems with my Nation, with my father. Something I don't think i would have been able to do on my own. In some ways, I'm grateful for the experience, it means I was able to meet you guys. Thank you for taking me in, for trusting me, I'll be forever grateful for all of you."

Aang mustered up a weak, watery smile, "Of course, Zuko."

The group once again enveloped Zuko in a large hug and he felt at peace, at home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same story from Suki's perspective

Suki hadn't expected to be shaken out of her sleep in the middle of the night, least of all by Aang.

When she had been jolted awake, Suki reached instinctively for her fans, expecting danger, stopping short only when she saw the pure confusion on Aang's features, mixed with something that looked like fear. 

She dropped her fans instantly and set about apologising over and over again, before Aang assured her it was fine and led her over to the fire pit and hurried off to fetch Zuko, the only one missing from their midnight campfire. 

Suki settled down next to Sokka, who was chatting animatedly with his father, who Suki had been the most surprised to see lounging in front of the fire, but he layed a hand on her knee in a small greeting. Suki laced her fingers with Sokka's, turning to see Zuko sitting down next to her.

She noted the unsettling bags under his good eye and his tired and disgruntled expression, along with his defensive body language. She shot him a quick smile, which she was surprised to see he returned and turned back to Aang.

"Aang, can you finally tell us why we're here, in the middle of the night?" Toph spat out, her face shadowed by a weary grimace. Suki nodded, it was so late and Aang knew that they needed their rest more than anybody.

"I ... don't actually know," Aang looked resigned as he sat down in between Toph and Katara, "Avatar Roku told me to gather you here. He said it was important."

Aang joined hands with the two girls sitting next to him and motioned for everyone else to do the same. Suki wrapped her free hand round Zuko's, feeling the small calluses and old burns. She squeezed his hand gently, trying to show some sort of vague support. Zuko seemed so lonely and, though he wasn't her favourite person in the world, she did want him to know they were, at the very least, allies. 

As soon as everybody had joined hands, the fire between them shot up, stretching high into the night sky, dimming the light of the moon with it's intense heat. Suki stared up into the flames with awe, she had only ever known fire as destruction and though it was slightly painful to look at, the beauty of these flames was overwhelming. 

Suki felt herself being pulled into them, she wasn't scared of it though, she welcomed it, the beauty of the fire drawing her in. 

When Suki opened her eyes, after what seemed like days to her, she was in a room she had never seen before, but, from the large insignia hanging over the bed, she could guess where she was. The rest of their group appeared around her, Sokka directly at her side, squeezing her hand even tighter as he realised where they were. Zuko stood apart from them, alone, not acknowledging their presence.

A beautiful woman she didn't recognise was laying on the fanciest bed she had ever seen in her life. It was large and looked so soft, Suki was almost tempted to run over and climb into the bed with her. The woman was cradling a small, newborn baby in her arms, smiling lovingly down at her daughter.

Suki saw the pallor of her skin and the bags under her eyes, her long, black hair was pulled into a tight messy top knot, but none of these things took away from her natural beauty. They almost added to it, her genuine smile shining through despite her clear tiredness. 

A man who Suki assumed to be her husband walked into the room, Suki shrunk away from him instinctively and she saw Zuko visibly tense. He was intimidating even through the vision and Suki didn't want to have to he around him for too long. She even thought she saw the woman tense briefly as he layed a hand on her shoulder. He looked down almost happily at his daughter.

_"She's a miracle. The sages say she was blessed by Agni, born in the height of summer."_

The woman looked up at her husband and Suki could see the strain in her smile, the lack of love in her eyes. Her husband took no notice, staring down at their daughter.

_"We're lucky to have her."_

The family at first glance looked happy, content, but once you looked closer, Suki realised, the cracks began to show. The husband's grip on her shoulder was just a little too tight and her smile too fake. His eyes held no warmth when he looked at her and her gaze held no love. Suki's heart went out to the woman, trapped in a loveless marriage, bound not only by her husband and new child, but social etiquette. She would never be able to leave him without being cast out by her own people. It was the type of marriage Suki never wanted to be in, trapped with no real will of her own and someone she didn't love. She didn't have too long to think about it, however, before she felt herself being sucked forward, and her surroundings changed.

Suki, once again, had no idea where she was. It looked to be Fire Nation again, if the flags hung up on the walls were any indication. She smiled briefly at Sokka when he appeared next to her, before turning back to the scene before her.

They seemed to be in some sort of training room, young children lined up in rows, moving through different battle stances. 

A much older man in what looked to be sacred robes stood at the front, overseeing the class.

In front of the other children, two students stood out. They stood a little further away from the other children and looked a little fancier, a little richer, than everyone else. They also looked eerily familiar and as Zuko came into view beside her she realised who she was looking at.

Suki felt a small shock run through her at the realisation that, once, Zuko didn't have a scar. She had never known him without it and it was easy to just assume that he had always had it. It seemed obvious to her once she really thought about it, but having never known the circumstances he got it in, and always having seen him with it, it seemed almost unnatural to think of him without one.

She watched in slight awe as little Azula ran perfectly through a series or incredibly complex stances, shooting fire high up into the air, it burnt so bright Suki almost thought she could feel it.

Azula smirked at her brother, silently laughing at his weak flame and his sloppy, uncoordinated movements. She reached a hand out, pressing it down heavily on his shoulder.

_"Oh it's ok Zuzu, I'm sure one day you'll learn not to be such a disappointment."_

Suki would have laughed at the old nickname if it wasn't said with such venom. She watched as little Zuko's face changed from concentration to sadness and hurt. He looked so upset and disappointed with himself, his stance faltered and his hand fell down by his sides as Azula walked away from him, laughing to herself.

Suki looked over to see the real Zuko clench his fists, surprised to see tears welling in his eyes as he looked away from the scene, staring instead at his clenched fists. She could see him holding back, having to visibly restrain from letting the fire shoot from his fingertips.

Before she could rush over to him, comfort him, she felt the herself being sucked into a new memory, the skin around her face being pulled away from her skull before hanging slightly limp from her cheeks.

They were in a large hall, the man from before, _'Ozai,'_ Suki thought faintly, stood before a group of old, wise-looking men. Azula was bowed before him and Suki could see a sadistic smile gracing her lips. Zuko stood off to the side, slightly behind his father, he looked worried and almost fearful and Suki wished she could hurry over and pull him into a hug. 

Ozai was talking to the other men, praising his daughter. Suki was slightly shocked to hear how highly he spoke of her. She didn't think he was capable of speaking so positively of another person and the scene was almost nice. That was until he turned to Zuko and Suki realised why he seemed so scared.

He grabbed Zuko's arm and Suki's heart broke a little at the whimper that escaped his lips. It only seemed to enrage Ozai further.

_"Zuko, however, has made almost no progress, bestowing shame and disappointment upon his family and scarring his already questionable honour."_

Suki saw a small tendril of smoke rising out from under Ozai's fingers where he gripped Zuko's arm far too hard. Suki felt slightly sick as she watched Zuko squirming beneath his father, trying desperately to escape his grip. She turned her head to see the older men in the room looking pointedly away, avoiding looking even in the general direction of the Firelord and his son.

Ozai leaned in closer to Zuko, lowering his voice, almost whispering, ensuring only Zuko, and maybe Azula, would be able to hear his next words.

_"Azula was blessed by Agni, she was born lucky. You were lucky to be born. You will do well to remember that the next time you decide to disappoint me."_

Ozai all but threw his son down onto the ground, walking away as Zuko crouched down on the ground, cradling his arm in his lap, weeping silently. Suki was outraged as, even now, none of the men chose to intervene, to even check if the boy was okay, choosing instead to focus on Azula stroking her ego even more.

Suki looked over at Zuko, fully fledged tears were now running down his face and he seemed to be barely holding himself together, he stared solely at his younger self, crumpled and crying. Suki almost walked over, before they were once again brought to a new memory, this time they stood in a small garden. It was surprisingly peaceful and Suki didn't think a place like this could exist in the Fire Nation. 

The woman from before was here, knelt at the edge of a pond. She looked happier here, better rested and more content. A younger Zuko sat with her too, he leant further out into the pond, waving a clump of bread in the general direction of some turtle ducks. Suki had to admit the sight was incredibly adorable, even with Zuko's ridiculous ponytail, _'At least he's not bald this time,'_ Suki thought to herself, smirking slightly.

The woman laughed, one of the most beautiful sounds Suki had ever heard, as Zuko grew increasingly frustrated.

_"Young Zuko,"_ Suki felt drawn to her voice, it was soft and had a song-like quality, _"you must let the animals come to you. You cannot force trust, you must open your arms and wait for them to return your embrace. Patience is key."_ Suki wondered if the woman spent much time with Zuko's uncle as she seemed to mirror the old man's wisdom.

The woman took the bread gently from his hand, tearing off a smaller piece and holding it close to the water. She held it steady, smiling gently as a baby turtle duck swam over, nibbling tentatively at the offering. She took Zuko's hand in hers and folded his fingers gently over the bread. He looked down in awe at the little baby eating from his hand, as if he couldn't believe this was really happening. The woman looked at him with such love and happiness that it almost hurt to look at her expression, the love that shone through her smile and was reflected in her eyes was so pure and unfiltered.

Suki broke away from Sokka's tight grip, no one in their group had actually said anything yet, everyone too focused on the scenes that were playing out before him, but Sokka made a small noise of protest at Suki's movement.

She reached out to Zuko. Suki layed a tentative hand on his shoulder, trying her best not to startle him, he hadn't looked away from his memories even slightly, not even to acknowledge them with a small nod or wave.

He didn't move now either, he didn't turn to her, didn't flinch, didn't push her away or lean in, the muscle of his shoulder didn't even twitch under her fingers. It was like she wasn't even there.

Suki would have been offended if the scenes they had just watched weren't so heartbreaking, if she had been forced to relive every one of her most painful memories in a room of people she barely even knew, she wouldn't have been very responsive either. 

Still, she did not move, keeping a light grip on his shoulder, hoping that, even if he did not show it, he knew she was there for him.

They were thrown into a new memory.

Suki tightened her grip on Zuko's shoulder as she watched him get chased around by a man she had never seen before. 

The man looked vaguely familiar. He was similar to Zuko now, but his face had much softer lines and his eyes were much warmer.

Young Zuko screamed delightfully as the man threw him up in the air, it warmed Suki's heart and she felt her eyes sting with the threat of tears.

The man set Zuko down before him, his expression turning his serious, but his eyes still held the same warmth.

_"Zuko, I have to go away for a while,"_ the man held up his hand, smiling sadly as little Zuko shouted jumbled protests, _"I'm going to miss you dearly, but I must to go. Will you protect the Fire Nation while I'm away? I can't trust anybody else with this task."_

The man smiled down at Zuko who had begun shouting promises of protection and bravery, finally ending his little speech with a proud Fire Nation salute. The man laughed and saluted back at Zuko.

_"I promise I'll be back as soon as I can, to help you protect the Nation. I know you'll be up to the task while I'm away, little soldier."_

He laughed and lightly, bringing Zuko in for a tight hug, which Zuko returned with ferocity, his little face scrunched up with effort. They stayed watching the two boys hug for a while, before the scene morphed into something else, something much sadder and heavier, that immediately weighed on Suki's heart.

Zuko sat before a much older man, who Suki took to believe was his uncle. His uncle was tired and his eyes were red and puffy, with large bags hanging below them, but they still held that same fiery warmth of the previous man's.

_"I'm sorry to tell you, young Zuko, but your cousin will not be returning. I know how close the two of you were, this must be hard to understand, but he fell in battle, defending our nation. He died a warrior's death."_

The older man pulled Zuko in for a hug and they wept together, quietly and softly, holding each other up. 

Suki felt Zuko drop quickly from beneath her hand and she almost fell with him. He sat on his knees now, openly weeping as he did in the scene that played before them, letting old wounds be ripped open as he cried over the death of his cousin. 

Suki crouched down next to him, unsure of what to do. A hand on his shoulder felt too formal, too little, but even so, she wasn't sure she knew Zuko well enough to be giving him hugs. She supposed she had just watched some of his most vulnerable moments, but not from his own volition. Those scenes were forced from his mind onto them, he did not choose to give them access and here he was crying on the floor in front of her and all she could do was worry about proper etiquette.

Thankfully, before she had to make a decision, Aang had rushed over, folding Zuko into his arms and soon the rest of the group had done the same. All apart from Katara, who continued to watch the scene imapassively, staring quietly at the young Zuko who continued to weep in the embrace of his uncle.

They were thrown into a new memory, Zuko unfolded himself quickly, pushing himself up to his feet and leaving the rest of the group to untangle their jumbled limbs. Suki ended up with quite a few 'accidental' slaps from Toph, before she was able to stand fully upright next to Zuko again. She layed her hand on his shoulder again, hoping that it conveyed her message of solidarity and understanding. She doubted it, but she knew she would never be able to translate the feeling into words and would probably end up making it much worse, so she settled for the hand on his shoulder. Once again, Zuko made no move to acknowledge her, which Suki chose not to be offended by, instead focusing on the fact he wasn't throwing her off.

Suki turned her attention to the new scene, Zuko was stood in a long corridor, talking earnestly with his uncle. She was able to catch the tale end of the conversation as his uncle looked Zuko in the eye, face serious, _"Do not say a word."_

His uncle led him into a dimly lit room, where flames covered the entire far wall. Zuko was sat at the far end of table, partly in shadows, by his uncle, listening eagerly to what sounded like a war meeting. He watched carefully, and listened attentively, never taking his eyes off each speaker. He looked so happy and in his element, until a cocky general stood up. Suki just caught his name, Kaizo, it sounded almost familiar to her but she couldn't quite place it. She watched his face change from an eager smile to one of pure fury as a wave of laughter swept through the room at Kaizo's proposal. Zuko stood up, throwing his chair back in the process, he shouted at the general, speaking of betrayal and disloyalty. He was quickly silenced by the Fire Lord, however, who rose from his throne of flames to shame Zuko for his disrespect.

Suki was shocked, all Zuko had done was speak on behalf of his own people, surely the Fire Lord wanted the future heir to the throne to be able to protect his people, show them some compassion and empathy. Clearly not. He challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai, something which Suki had never heard of before, and which Zuko agreed to without much thought. From the look on his uncle's face, it couldn't have been good.

Terror and fear twisted in Suki's gut as she watched Zuko walk confidently out in front of what looked like hundreds of people, facing the wall and rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 

She watched as he turned and his face fell, morphing into an expression of pure terror that didn't belong on any child's face, she watched as his hands dropped down and his feet gave way beneath him, she watched as he knelt before his approaching father, begging for forgiveness and mercy, pledging loyalty and love.

She watched in anticipated horror as the Firelord knelt before his son, cupping his young, innocent face in his hand, speaking almost softly, a small, taunting smile on his lips.

_"You will learn respect. And suffering will be your teacher."_

His hand slid up from Zuko's jaw, leaving a trail of burning flesh in it's wake, until he stopped over Zuko's left eye, holding his hand there for far too long, smoke poured out from beneath his fingers and she could see the flesh bubbling and mutating beneath his hand. 

"Oh Tui and La," Suki looked over to see Katara on her knees, eyes wide and glazed with impending tears, covering her face with her hands, she looked as horrified and sickened as Suki felt.

She couldn't bare to listen to the sizzle of Zuko's burning flesh or his agonized screams any longer. She didn't have to, thankfully, before too long they were back round the campfire, in their original seats, staring into the crackling flames. Apart from Zuko, who screamed and writhed on the floor, hand pressed over his face as if he could still feel the flames of his father burning into his skull. 

His screams were oppressive, they weighed down on Suki from all angles and pressed into her, boring into her head until she feared she would never be free of them, all she could do was stare at the shaking boy, shrieking in agony. 

After a while he stopped, whimpering quietly to himself, his hands still pressed hard down against his face as he rocked back and forth on his knees, staring into the fire. 

Soon this stopped too, however, and Zuko slowly lifted his face, meeting the gazes of the rest of the group. Everyone was turned towards him, unable to look away from his shaking body. The look on his face as he continued to whimper quietly under his breath, even as he stared back at them, was heartbreaking. Suki felt sickened by the guilt and shame etched deeply onto his face, as if his pain made him a burden. He opened his mouth to speak, Suki didn't know what he would say, it looked as though he might apologise or begin crying again, maybe even shout or yell at them for intruding on his most private memories, but he never got any of it out. Suki couldn't take it anymore and before he could even utter a word had rushed towards him, wrapping him up in what she hoped was a comforting embrace.

Zuko was incredibly warm, his face burned hotter than any part of him and she could feel the warmth radiating from his face. She held him for much longer than what was deemed proper or respectable, longer than was probably necessary, but she didn't have it in her to let go, especially once he had hugged her back. She could feel his tears through the thick, scratchy cloth of her prison clothes and only hugged him tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

Eventually she broke away, but she kept her hands firmly on his shoulders and did her best to look him in the eyes, trying to muster up a sympathetic smile.

As she stared into his wet, puffy eyes, his emotions completely exposed and vulnerable, Suki finally felt the sadness and anger hit, crashing down in waves and forcing tears out of her eyes. She tried to hold it in, tried to be strong, to be able to support Zuko, but she couldn't help but let the tears stream silently down her face, struggling slightly to maintain her soft smile. Her gaze shifted to his jagged scar and she moved her hand from his shoulder up to the side of his face, pressing a tentative hand to the rough, broken skin. She could feel him tense slightly beneath her touch, but she took his lack of resistance as an invitation and moved her hand down across his scar to cup the sharp curve of his jaw.

"I'm so sorry Zuko," she struggled to choke out the words, "I'm so, so sorry, no child deserves that."

She pulled him in again, slightly roughly this time, she felt his chin hit her shoulder uncomfortably, but didn't move away, instead pulling him closer in as she felt the rest of the group add to the hug, each trying to reach Zuko with some sort of affection. Zuko pushed away slightly, and they group eased back, not wanting to overwhelm or suffocate him after reliving such a traumatic experience. He looked Suki directly in the eye, confusion painted all over his face, "Did you- did you guys see that? You were there? You didn't see your- your _own_ lives?"

Suki felt just as confused and from the looks of everybody else's faces they did too, "No... could you not see us Zuko? We were right there with you." 

Zuko shook his head, pulling in on himself, hunching his shoulders and resting his chin on his chest, his voice was quiet and slightly guilty when he spoke, "You saw me though?" 

"Yes we could, I'm sorry Zuko, we did try to comfort you, but you didn't respond." The discomfort on Zuko's face when she answered pained Suki deeply, and once again she was reminded that Zuko never chose to let them in on such private and vulnerable moments of his life and she tried to show her own guilt on her face. She pulled him towards her once again, trying to show him there was nothing to be ashamed about, that he didn't need to worry or feel pitied and was grateful when he leaned into her embrace, wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her slightly closer. 

Suki gently pried herself out of his arms, trying to give him some space to himself, to breathe and collect his thoughts. He smiled somewhat shyly at her, before turning to the rest of the group, staring intently into their faces, each one looking away guiltily, trying their best to process what they had just seen.

Sokka looked up, trying a smile, which turned out as more of a grimace, "Now we know why you were so obsessed with your honour," he choked out a half-hearted laugh, before staring back down at his hands.

Suki watched as Hakoda walked round the fire, his face contorted into a heavy scowl, and pulled Zuko into a deep embrace, patting him loudly on the back. He smiled weakly at Zuko before turning away and sitting back down between his own children, pulling them close to him as if protecting them from the horrors of Zuko's childhood. 

"I'm sorry Zuko," the group turned towards Aang, Suki was surprised see such darkness in his eyes, "I had no idea, I always assumed it was an accident. I- I didn't know." Aang broke down, tears falling down his cheeks, he looked up at Zuko, almost in desperation, shouting, "I didn't know! I'm so sorry Zuko! I'm so sorry!"

Zuko lent forward and pulled Aang round the fire towards him, almost squashing his wiry frame with the weight of his embrace, "It's ok Aang, it's ok."

"But it's not! He was your father Zuko! Your father! I'm so sorry, if I had known I- I-"

Suki sat back, slightly awkward as she imposed on a private moment between two friends, she supposed she should have been used to prying into private moments after tonight, however. She was shocked by the lightness Zuko spoke with, he hesitated slightly as he spoke, choosing his words carefully, "Aang, what's done is done. My experience in the Agni Kai shaped me into who I am today, I wouldn't be here if it didn't happen. It was ... horrifying, yeah, and it hurt- a lot. But, this way, I was able to learn the problems with my Nation, with my father. Something I don't think i would have been able to do on my own. In some ways, I'm grateful for the experience, it means I was able to meet you guys. Thank you for taking me in, for trusting me, I'll be forever grateful for all of you."

Aang looked up at Zuko from between his arms and was barely able to manage a weak smile, but Suki could see the light returning to his eyes, "Of course, Zuko."

The group once again enveloped Zuko in a large hug and Suki felt a little tension melt from his body as Zuko hugged back, she felt safe with her new chosen family and hoped Zuko felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought Suki's take would be interesting to get but it kinda just turned into a bit of a Zuko pity party so sorry if you didn't want to read that and I'm pretty sure there were a few continuity errors but I had fun writing it so you know 
> 
> Written for SilverFoxPhantom


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